Category: Family

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Christel Family

Four things moms of young children should remember

People joke that there is something in the water at my church. Someone is always pregnant. And it’s not crazy to assume that for every one pregnancy you see there are 3 more you don’t know about. I’m surrounded by new moms all the time. As someone who still has a lot to learn about parenting, I’m hesitant to hand out too much advice. But I also know that I’ve been helped tremendously from the encouragement of moms who are just a little further ahead of me in this journey. So for my mama friends with young children, here are four things I want you to know.

1. You don’t have to keep someone else’s standards.

When I talk to new moms, I feel exhausted for them. There are so many decisions about diapering, feeding, sleeping, discipline, diet, screen time, education, etc. And many of these decisions have to be made in a sleep-deprived state of new motherhood. Most moms I talk to want the best for their child and worry they will somehow put their child at a disadvantage if they make the wrong decision.

Depending on who is in your circle of friends, the standards for “doing it right” can be high. 

If I could go back and talk to my younger self, I would tell her that it’s okay to be “good enough”. If your child is in a context of love, and you are making the best decisions you can with the information you have, it’s enough. I’d even go further and say it’s okay to do a mediocre job of parenting some days. When you’ve reached your breaking point sometimes the whole family is helped by an episode (or five) of Dora and Diego. Rest up and try again tomorrow. His mercies are new every morning.

God didn’t make you like other mothers. You and your husband make decisions for your children before God and no one else. He gave you the children that He wanted you to have and wrote your disposition and capacity in your DNA. He places no burden on you to live up to other people’s standards and preferences. Instead, he desires you to trust Him. He will provide the grace that you need to parent your little ones today. 

2. Your kids don’t have to be like other kids.

It’s super annoying when your friend’s kid can recite their ABC sounds at 18 months and yours can barely say “Dada”. It’s also annoying when your kid is doing bum-scoots across the church lobby and their BFF is literally running circles around them while catching a football. If I could go back and talk to my younger self, I would tell her to relax. Ten years from now you won’t be able to tell the difference between early-starters and late-starters. 

I would also tell her to absolutely positively scrap the early potty training. It is so much work for parents and kids are totally fine with having soiled pants. (I may or may not have told my youngest repeatedly to go in his diaper because I wasn’t ready to potty train him.) Guess what, in the end he got potty trained. And no, he’s not scarred for life. 

Other mothers can be a tremendous support and encouragement for you. (How else are you supposed to learn about resources like the Letter Factory video and warm compresses for clogged milk ducts.) But it’s also important to remember that just because your friend’s child is learning Latin for toddlers, doesn’t mean you have to scramble to catch up.

You have the freedom to pick activities, routines and pursuits that fit with your family rhythm and preferences. It can be character-building for kids (and their parents) to be second best. It’s less important to impress the world than it is to please God.

3. Physically, your life is about to get a lot easier.

I read somewhere about the golden years of parenting (ages 6-12). And guess what, they weren’t lying. Kids this age can get themselves breakfast and buckle their seatbelts. The can puke into a bowl and engage in interesting conversations. They’ve moved past toddler tantrums and not yet reached teenage meltdowns. Imagine sleeping through the night and drinking your coffee while it’s warm. This will be you in a few years.

4. Your conversations are about to get harder.

It’s so important for moms to take time to keep developing as a person. Not only for their own sake, but also for the sake of their children. You see, something shifts as the children get older. Mothering isn’t as much about caring for our children’s physical needs (although they still require food, clothes and kisses!). But the primary emphasis of parenting shifts to character development, decision making and moral dilemmas. Conversations turn to spiritual matters, playground dynamics and understanding the world. We suddenly have to engage with our kids in a thoughtful, nuanced manner and help them understand the world from a biblical perspective. This is hard to do unless we are also growing spiritually, emotionally and intellectually. 

I read once that the primary reason young people fall away from the faith is because their parents seemed irrelevant and out-of-touch with the real world. I’m not overly worried about this because salvation belongs to the Lord, not to me. I don’t have to bear the weight of saving my kids. But I still think there is something to be said for genuine, thoughtful interactions with the world we live in. We don’t retreat in fear, but engage with hope because we’ve tasted “the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge” (Ephes. 3:19).

I have a growing hunch that kids benefit from seeing their parents try new things, and struggle, and grow as people. Kids need to know they are loved and prioritized by their parents, but as strange as it sounds, I don’t think that they actually want it to be all about them. They also need examples of adulthood that inspire them. Moms don’t have to be spiritual superstars, but when we grow in maturity, we will be better equipped to help our kids grow into adulthood.

This post appeared originally at The Gospel Coalition Canada as Dear Mom With Young Children

Categories
Clint Creation Family

Reversing the Absence of Adam

It has long been recognized that Adam was nearby to Eve in Eden, yet he was absent in attention, duty, protection, and care. Adam permitted the serpent to tempt Eve, spread lies, and usurp God’s well-designed order. Adam knowingly (1 Tim 2:14) ate the fruit that was forbidden. Though he was present, he was absent in heart, head and hands. 

Since the connection between Adam and the whole human race carries so much theological weight, it can be easy to ignore other illustrations of the absence of Adam.  Consider the sad declension of the story of Cain and his descendent Lamech. Cain commits the first murder (Gn 4:8), while Lamech becomes the first bigamist (Gn 4:19). Adam is nowhere to be found. 

We know that Adam was alive because he fathered Seth at the robust age of 130 years old (Gn 5:3). But where was he when Cain was growing in bitterness, and losing strength to fight off the sin that was “crouching at the door” (4:7). Where was Adam when Lamech mused about breaking the monogamous one-woman-man pattern and taking a second wife? Did Adam aim to influence Lamech to hold fast to God’s design? Possibly Adam had to travel to Cain’s house and send that warning down the genealogical line. 

We don’t know the reason for the absence of Adam from the days of Cain and Abel to the birth of Seth. The Scriptures don’t tell us what Adam was doing. But that’s the point. Adam was not acting in any significant way to warrant inclusion in the Scriptures. Adam had abdicated his responsibility as the patriarch of the human race, and as the patriarch of his immediate family. 

Absent Adamic Fathers. 

The pattern of absentee fathers is evident from Adam to the present day. Although they may be present physically, they are practically absent in their head, heart and hands. This absenteeism leads to devastating consequences. The Cains and Lamechs of the world lack fathers and grandfathers and great grandfathers who provide leadership, security, instruction, and correction. 

Since Adam’s responsibility, and duty to provide and protect were mandated before God’s judgement, Adam’s duty to be ‘present’ was baked into the creation’s design. This is why many people today are able to recognize the need for fathers, even if they don’t have biblical commitments (such as the author of this Walrus article). It is in the nature of human beings that families need fathers (as well as mothers). 

The Adamic Abdication

When Adam was physically present but unengaged with his duty as a husband, he abdicated his God-ordained responsibilities.  This abdication is the plague of fallen fathers ever since. Fathers are forsaking their proper role in their families, while also neglecting the practical leadership, correction, protection and direction which fathers must give to their children. 

Again, the problem is not that a father may be merely away from home. Many jobs require the father to be physically absent for stretches of time. If such jobs keep the father away too much, then he needs to reconsider his employment. He might have to sacrifice his preferences or status in order to take a job that keeps him closer to home. 

But the frequent problem is that fathers are ‘around’ but unengaged. They are always distracted by other demands. The demands may be legitimate (work), or unimportant (sports, social media, hobbies). 

The absenteeism can extend to the emphasis on organized sports or other calendar-plugging activities. Often a father can give the appearance of attention given to a child by driving them to practices and games where others will direct them. This commitment can be admirable in some ways. But it can also hide the fact that a father is not engaging with their son or daughter in a way that is directly guiding them. A simple test is to see what the father and child can talk about once the sport or hobby can’t be played any longer. 

New Fathers

For fathers to take ownership of their responsibilities, they need to actively guide the development of their families. Fathers need to be present in their head, heart and hands, not just their feet. Adam’s absenteeism can be reversed. Father’s need to repent of their sinful tendency to care about things that don’t matter, more than they take action in their children’s lives. But the hope of the gospel is that there is forgiveness of sins among fathers. By God’s grace, fatherless fathers can know the guiding care, instruction and correction of a loving heavenly Father. 

Fathers can aim to reverse the Adamic legacy and begin a legacy of the Last Adam as they share the gospel with their families. No other responsibility compares to that duty. 

unsplash-logoPriscilla Du Preez

Categories
Canada Church Clint Family

Make Family Reunions a Way of Life

I was in Montreal for the first time, standing by the sloping shores of the St Laurence River with my friend Paul Martin, shooting a video for Together for the Gospel. We were inviting Canadians to the conference, which is located in the American state of Kentucky, in order to have a family reunion.

Now it might seem strange for Canadians to travel to the US for a conference. But when those gatherings are understood as family reunions, they take on a different tone and aim.

Church gatherings are like family reunions

Family reunions are casual and comfortable. And they are an opportunity to learn about the lives of distant loved ones.

Anytime the church gathers, it is like a family reunion. Every Christian can testify to the truth of what Jesus said, “where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.” (Matt 18:20). Christians enjoy the presence of Jesus as the guest of honour in any gathering.

In the apostle Paul’s correspondence, he repeatedly has an emotional, affected longing for reunion. In his first letter to the Thessalonians, he said, “we endeavoured the more eagerly and with great desire to see you face to face” (2:17) and “you always remember us kindly and long to see us, as we long to see you” (3:6). We can imagine that Paul would have been the first to sign up when the aunt sends the family reunion email to everyone.

Church gatherings are the reunion of the adopted

Paul repeated celebrated the fact that he was a part of this new family. In his early letter to the Galatians, he highlights the intent of the saving mission of Jesus, “that we might receive adoption as sons” (Gal 4:5), telling the Ephesians, “he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will” (1:5), and to the Romans he said that we have even received the Spirit of adoption (8:15), which makes us offer the same familial cry, “Abba, Father!”

When we gather at church, there is more going on than simply consumption. Just like a family reunion might have great food, and you can overindulge yourself, yet the food is not the point. The point is to bring together different people from different places and reunite them in their common family bonds.

The family reunion this Sunday

Every Sunday in a special way, and also at other times throughout the week, the church gathers to be reunited in those family connections. The same applies to conferences, special events, prayer meetings, and any other gathering where Christians come together. It is a family reunion, celebrating our adoption into God’s own family through the saving work of the Son and the power of the Spirit of God.

Imagine how our attitude would change if we anticipated Sunday’s church gathering like it was a family reunion? Let’s change how we think of church, conferences and other get-togethers. Let’s treat them like family reunions because that is what they are.

unsplash-logoSamantha Gades

Categories
Christel Family Spiritual Growth Suffering & Trials

Can I release my sons into God’s divine care?

I am starting to realize the trials that my boys will face in this life.

At some point, maybe sooner rather then later, they will endure mocking and name-calling from their peers. If they choose to follow Jesus they will face even greater opposition. Maybe they will go off to war or be missionaries in a hostile country. The difficult part for me is that I won’t always be there to help them. For that matter, I may not be capable of helping them.

I remember how things were a few years ago when my sons were a lot younger. One time we were walking back to our vehicle after dining out and a drunk man started talking to my boys. Afterward, my oldest said, “He sounded like he was speaking funny. Maybe he is from somewhere else.” My middle boy commented, “He was speaking nice words.” The innocence of their words, however lovely and generous, made my defences come up a bit. I said, “When you are with Mom and Dad you can be friendly and say hello to everyone. If you are ever by yourself, don’t talk to strangers.”

“Why can we talk to strangers when you are around?”

“Because I would protect you if there was a bad person.”

One of my boys, who will remain nameless, laughed out loud. He couldn’t help himself. He could barely speak, he thought I was telling a good joke.

“What could YOU do to defend us?”

Thankfully, my darling husband came to the rescue of my wounded pride.

“Oh, if Momma got upset she would be a force to be reckoned with!”

We all had a good laugh at this, but there was truth to my son’s words. I cannot be their ultimate lifelong defender. I cannot pave the road for them and smooth every bump. I cannot stop every bad thing from ever happening to them.

There is only one who calms the waves and stops the storms. There is only one who sees and knows all things at all times. He is the one who orchestrates all things for the good of those who love Him, however painful they may be.

Can I release my sons into his divine care? Will he not pry my fingers open anyway? I have a choice between fear and trust. How can I not trust in him? He can never fail. He will never forsake. His sufficiency is much greater than my own.

Categories
Canada Christel Family Gospel Spiritual Growth

How To Choose Books for Children

Gone are the days of nursery rhymes and picture books. My children now gravitate toward young adult fiction. They aren’t content with predictable plot lines or childlike themes. They want complex, intriguing plot lines with older, and therefore, more interesting characters. And while I’m glad their tastes are maturing, it felt like we were stepping out of the splash pool of preschool literacy into a vast ocean of divergent worldviews.

Some books are an obvious “no” and others are certified place-keepers on Christian bookshelves everywhere. But the vast majority of books fall somewhere in between. After some research, soul-searching and advice-seeking from smarter and better parents than me, I’ve found a way forward. If you are struggling to pick out good books for your children, here are 8 questions you may want to consider.

Is It a Good, Well-written Story?

As a parent, it’s tempting to choose a “safe” story over an excellent one, but children instinctively reject books that come across as preachy and condescending (not unlike adults!). By contrast a really good book immerses the child into the story. They feel the exhilaration of adventure and experience the camaraderie of overcoming with unexpected heroes. New combinations of words begin to form in their mind and they learn to express themselves in new and articulate ways.

Does This Book Help My Child to Empathize with Someone They Would Have Otherwise Felt no Affinity with?

In Canada, many cities are diverse and multicultural. Toronto is said to have half of its population born outside of Canada, and yet stories of ostracism, racism and bullying still abound. Story can be a powerful means of helping children understand and value other cultures.

God’s kingdom is not limited by nationality, class or gender (Gal. 3:28). It transcends all boundaries and so should our love and compassion. A good book allows children to identify with others through shared experience.

Does This Book Spark My Child’s Interest in History, Culture Or Science?

Famous children’s educator, Charlotte Mason, wrote, “The question is not, — how much does the youth know? when he has finished his education — but how much does he care?”

Quality literature can teach in a way that a dry textbook never can. Facts memorized for a test tend to be forgotten, but the things we learn from story come alive and stay with us long after the last page is read.

Will My Child Learn about Moral Courage?

We must explicitly “train up a child in the way he should go” (Prov. 22:6), but like so many things, integrity is often caught, not taught.

Children learn quickly that doing the right thing will cost them something–whether it be social status, comfort, or other privileges. Good stories allow children to experience these moral crisis points vicariously through the characters in their story. It’s almost like practise for real-life or learning moral courage by osmosis. A compelling protagonist inspires children in ways that simple explanations sometimes fail to do.

Will They Learn through Story That Sin Has Consequences?

It’s no secret that certain stories glamourize sin. The cool kids are slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, etc. (Rom. 1:30), but the bible clearly teaches that the wages of sin is death (Rom. 6:23). Stories that propagate a superficial understanding of sin do not serve our children, but a story that exposes sin’s consequences may do a world of good, especially if it is followed by themes of redemption and forgiveness that mirror God’s grace in the gospel (1 John 1:9).

Does This Book Teach My Child That Authority Is Valuable in Its Proper Context?

Many children’s books teach children to be suspicious of authority. Teachers, parents and other authority figures are evil, egomaniacs or just plain dumb. While we don’t want our children to blindly follow authority, especially when it is corrupt, we do want them to understand that authority is God’s idea and therefore good (Romans 13:1-7). For example, obedience to parents will (in principle) result in a better quality of life (Ephes. 6:1-4). Government and police will restrain the depravity, disorder and injustice that happens when everyone does “what is right in their own eyes” (Judges 21:25) And for the sake of their eternal soul they must understand the importance of submitting to God’s authority and humbling themselves under His mighty hand (1 Pet. 5:6).

Will This Book Cause This Particular Child to Stumble?

On questionable “grey issue” books, wiser parents have advised me to know my child’s propensities. Will this book encourage my particular child to sin in areas where they are weak, or is this an issue of low concern when it comes to temptation? While a book may be appropriate for one child to read at 10, another child may need to wait until they are 12.

Does This Expand My Child’s Ability to Comprehend the Incomprehensible?

Myth and fairy-tales can be helpful here. C.S. Lewis writes that when a child reads about a “fairy land” it “arouses a longing for he knows not what. It stirs and troubles him (to his life-long enrichment) with the dim sense of something beyond his reach and, far from dulling or emptying the actual world, gives it a new dimension of depth. He does not despise real woods because he has read of enchanted woods: the reading makes all real woods a little enchanted. This is a special kind of longing.”

When we consider the supernatural nature of God’s world, fairytales begin to look more realistic. That is to say, they expand our imagination so that we can begin to grasp the wonder of a God who supernaturally breaks into our world to save those who are lost.

Story is powerful, and while we must be cautious of the destructive nature of some literature, mining the depths of a good story is worth every effort. While books have no power in and of themselves to save our children, they have great potential to enrich the soul, build character, inspire, expand the imagination and most importantly, provide fertile soil for gospel seeds grow.

A version of this article appeared at The Gospel Coalition Canada

unsplash-logoBen White

Categories
Canada Christel Clint Family Home & Health Marriage

What Do You Want Us To Write About?

Christel and I have been writing steadily at TheHumfreys.Com this year especially since the beginning of the summer. We appreciate all of the support that our readers have given us through liking articles on Facebook, retweeting on Twitter, or verbally encouraging us when they see us in person.

Here are the numbers:

  • nearly 5000 page views this year
  • nearly 3000 unique visitors

Most visitors come from Canada. We are, after all, a Canadian site! The second most come from the United States, followed by readers from the UK. Our fourth-highest readership is from Italy (please invite us to visit!). After that, there is an equal number of Dutch, Brazilian, and Australian readers. To all of you who took the time to read– Thank you!

As we make plans to write through to the end of 2019 and into 2020 we want to ask our readers this important question:

What do you want us to write about?

  • More bible meditations from Christel?
  • More pastor posts from Clint?
  • Theology?
  • Lifestyle?
  • Practical ethics?
  • Our life and marriage?
  • Home and health?
  • Other topics?

Please leave your comments on our Facebook page and remember to “like” the page to get the latest updates on your media feed.

Or you can contact us here: Ask Christel and Clint

Thanks for taking the time to read our articles. We write them for you!

Categories
Christel Family Home & Health Spiritual Growth

An Invisibly Productive Day

I’ve been thinking through my priorities. I took pen to paper and made a list. Suddenly, I had an epiphany. I was struggling to feel like I was getting things done because the top priorities on my list required invisible work. This meant that if I spent the majority of my time doing the things that were most important to me, I would not see immediate results. I was beginning to see my need to embrace delayed gratification.  

Visible Work

There is something so satisfying about organizing my home, gardening, cutting my son’s hair, painting the bathroom and making a beautiful meal. This kind of work is visible. At the end of the day, there are results that are pleasing to me and to others. This is good work. Satisfying work.

But there is another kind of work that is sometimes not as immediately satisfying. This work does not always give immediate results. It requires me to be intentional and self-disciplined. The work I am speaking of is the work of relationships.

It seems like most women I know, myself included, choose to prioritize the visual kind of work. It is important for us to know that our life is a well-ordered smooth-sailing ship. Being well-organized and hard-working are good things. But here is the crunch: if our life is jam-packed full of visibly good work, what has happened to our relational work? Most likely it has been neglected.

Invisible Work

The fact is that good, healthy relationships require time, energy and effort and our visible work may have to take a backseat to it at times.

There is wisdom to leaving those crunchy Cheerios on the floor and instead spending 20 minutes of quiet, unhurried communion with my God. 

There is wisdom in an afternoon spent playing, talking and hanging out with my boys instead of cleaning the storage room.

There is wisdom in dropping a project for long enough to really see my husband, to hear what he is saying and to engage him with warmth and affection.

When I lay my head down on my pillow tonight I may have a crunchy floor, a disorganized storage room and some half-finished projects, but maybe I’ve done something of worth. Maybe I can close my eyes and thank God that I’ve had an invisibly productive day.

unsplash-logoPriscilla Du Preez

Categories
Clint Family Home & Health Personal Growth

3 Ways to Commit Your Schedule to the LORD

It’s back to school for many households. For some families, it was hard to convince their kids to return to schoolwork (at a school or at home). For others, they’re starting university or for teachers, they return to their classes. Everybody is getting back on schedule whether they like it or not.

In our home, getting back on schedule meant laying out a big white calendar on the table and Christel writing in dates and events in thick red ink. Yes, a big white calendar is pretty analog. But it’s a better start for us when we can’t get all of our calendars to sync across accounts and devices!

There is wisdom in planning. It’s been said that if you don’t make the plan someone will make it for you. Since God created the world in seven days (Gen 1:1-2:3), the day and night 24 cycle has remained with us. So the order of God’s creation encourages us to make plans in keeping with that orderly pattern of time. But the fall of Adam ensures that we will always be fighting the clock, even fighting against the day of our sure death (Gen 3:17-19). As Isaac Watts wrote in his famous hymn, Our God, Our Help in Ages Past:

Time, like an ever-rolling stream, 
   Bears all its sons away; 
They fly forgotten, as a dream 
   Dies at the opening day.

Isaac Watts, Our God, Our Help in Ages Past

Planning your schedule is wise. And the bible’s wisdom literature has some help for us in our planning. Here are three ways to commit yourself to the Lord in your planning.

Commit your schedule to God, Don’t Ignore Him.

It can be easy to let other priorities crowd out biblical ones. When it comes to child-raising it can be your good intentions that are the greatest barrier to committing your work to the Lord (Proverbs 16:3). It is good to have goals for kids, but they can become demands that crowd out everything else.

Ask yourself whether the activities your child has will take them away from attending church. Will you ever have a sit-down family meal? Can you preserve the priority of family worship and corporate worship with the schedule you are making? In your planning, commit your work to God, and “your plans will be established”(16:3). Like all proverbs, it is not a clear promise but it is wise. When God and his worship are set as non-negotiables, then that priority will make some of your decisions for you.

Guard Against People-Pleasing As You Plan

I’ve heard a few preachers make the comment that Christians in the West today will give the church their money, but not their calendar. In other words, they will not submit their calendars to the priorities of their local church. Often people de-prioritize the church because they want to please people. People-pleasing is a subtle temptation when we fill our calendars. But we need to guard against it. As the Proverb says, “All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the LORD weighs the spirit” (Prov 16:2).

It happens quickly. The coach, teacher, or after-school group asks for more commitment from students and parents as if there were no other commitments in the world. The challenge in these situations is to have the courage to say no. That means that some people will not be happy with your choice. It may also mean that you count the cost before committing and you don’t sign up. Fear of your child missing out is the biggest motivator for family schedules. But that kind of default people-pleasing will lead to burned-out kids and distorted perspectives.

Make Hard Decisions in Favour of Family Harmony

In our family, we had to make a hard decision about the schedule for one of our sons. We had to decide to drop one sport and begin another. As we aimed to commit our schedule to the LORD, we realized that there was no way to preserve peace in our home if we attempted the odometer-bloating, soul-crushing schedule which our new plans would have demanded. We had to make a tough decision and drop something.

By culling some of our activities, we knew that our son would “miss out”. But instead of fearing that, we were thankful to God for the opportunities he did have and trusted God for future opportunities to come.

When you drop one of your family’s commitments, it can limit the spectre of sibling rivalry. If one child gets to do everything and another child gets the scraps in the schedule, then resentment may grow over time. But as Proverbs 16:7 says, “When a man’s ways please the LORD, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.”

Maybe your child might not be the next Wayne Gretzky or Serena Williams, but your family will be saner with siblings living at peace.

As you plan, walk with humility. Don’t be afraid to quit things if it’s the right thing to do. Keep the priorities of church participation (Hebrews 10:24-25) and family worship (Deut 6:7) and trust the Lord for your children’s future.

You can be confident that God’s schedule will always be right.

unsplash-logoNikiya Christie

affiliate link.

Categories
Canada Clint Creation Family Gospel Society Theology

Christians Must Talk About Sexuality

No professing Christian can afford to ignore the topic of sexuality. The sexual revolution has swept across North America into unlikely places like Alberta the land of oil and cowboys. The sexual revolution refuses to be ignored. Conservative politicians would like to drop the topic. And Christians cannot merely act like it is a problem for “someone, somewhere”. Christians must talk about sexuality or else they are in danger of being blindsided by it.

Either Oil or Sexuality

Take Alberta for an example. The most prominent news events of the last decade, other than oil and natural disasters, have been issues relating to sexuality. In Alberta, school-based clubs have become a sexuality flashpoint. These clubs are places where children have legal privacy protections permitting them to pursue gay identities and activities. The name given to these clubs is Gay-Straight Alliances or GSAs.

Another sexuality issue shifted the politics in Alberta dramatically. That flashpoint was the so-called “Lake of Fire” blog post from a provincial political candidate, Allan Hunsperger. In the post, he spoke of the judgement which awaited those who will not inherit the kingdom of God (cf. 1 Cor 6:9-10). The problem was what he said about eternal judgement and how it applied to gay people. The 21st chapter of Revelation says:
“But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death” (v.8). Connecting “the lake that burns with fire” to the LGBTQ community set off a firestorm.

The candidate’s party lost the provincial election which many thought they would win. The “Lake of Fire” became a slogan that stood for ‘hateful comments that bring political disaster’. Maybe the candidate should not have phrased things as he did, or he should have clarified that “the sexually immoral” of Rev 21:8 includes all sexual lust and activity outside of monogamous heterosexual marriage, not just homosexuality. Regardless, it is clear that the bible’s view of sexuality would not be accepted in the public square in Alberta anymore.

Sexuality Views: A Case Study

For Christians in Canada, I think they should take Alberta as a case study for why they should talk about sexuality. Alberta can no longer be associated with so-called social conservatives. The province’s society has departed from publicly favouring Judeo-Christian values, even if they had no interest in the gospel. Alberta has shifted as radically as the price of oil.

A bellwether of this radical shift can be observed in American theologian Albert Mohler’s regular commentary. Normally Canada doesn’t register too highly on the attention meters of Americans, so it is worthwhile to consider the number of entries in Albert Mohler’s The Briefing relating to Canada or even the province of Alberta. Most if not all of his commentary about Alberta has to do with the sexual revolution (For a list of The Briefing commentaries that mention Alberta goto this link). Of course, the sexual revolution is so significant that it has its own category tag on Mohler’s site.

The personal autonomy and individualism which have marked Alberta since pioneer days have turned towards a radical autonomy in sexuality. Mohler observed what happens:

If we buy into the worldview that is undergirding this moral revolution on sex and marriage and the entire society and its ordering, we would have to understand that worldview says that human beings have an absolute right of self-determination when it comes to personal autonomy, gender, gender identity, sexuality, definition of marriage, or virtually anything else. But if you buy into that worldview, you have to extend it everywhere the logic would take us, even into the public schools, even into the lives of children and teenagers, even into a government policy that officially advises the schools they are to take the children through the process of choosing their pronoun, deciding what name they want on their report cards, deciding whether they want to play for the boys or girls team, and on and on.

The Briefing (January 20, 2016)

We cannot afford to be unclear about issues of sexuality. Our purpose is not simply to be better culture warriors or political operatives. Christians need to know what the Scriptures teach about humanity created in the image of God. Christians need to be clear about the creation design of male and female—binary sexes, which are designed to complement one another in their capacities and roles. The foundation is supernatural, as in the creative power of God. Yet the evidence of binary sexes is what even non-theist scientists defend.

Start To Talk About Sexuality

Christians need to start somewhere. Obviously the first place to start is reading through the first three chapters of Genesis, the affirmation of Jesus in Matthew 19, the sophisticated awareness of what is sexual sin presented by Paul in the first chapter of Romans, and the brilliant depiction of marriage in the sixth chapter of Ephesians which points to a higher reality, namely the union of Christ with his people.

Two contemporary resources to help us talk about these things are statements issued by the Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood.

The first, the Danvers Statement aimed to summarize the biblical teaching on binary sexes as designed to complement one another in marriage. The term ‘complementarian’ was coined to express this biblical viewpoint of equality in marriage with diversity in roles within marriage.

The second resource is the Nashville Statement which sought to address issues of transgenderism, homosexuality, polygamy, polyamory and more with biblical viewpoints in contrast to those beliefs.

So we can make a start. We can read the bible and learn from good resources. It can be uncomfortable, but we have to do it. If we start to be informed, we can “speak the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15).

Let us be careful not to lose either truth or love.

If you are in the Calgary area, Saturday August 24 you should consider attending this conference:

Gender, Sexuality and Christian Witness Conference, Calgary, Alberta, Saturday, August 24 with Denny Burk, President of the Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood.

unsplash-logoToni Reed

Categories
Christel Clint Family Home & Health

Family Table Talk On “The Righteousness of God”

https://artsandculture.google.com/asset/the-merry-family/PgG66BfO4KGbiA
The Merry Family by Jan Steen (1668). Courtesy of Google Art & Culture, and the Rijksmuseum.

At the dinner table, after we’ve eaten but before we clean up, Christel and I spend time having some table talk. Martin and Katie Luther made the practice famous with their Tischreden or Table Talk, and Ligonier calls their magazine Table Talk. But all that we do with our three sons is discuss a passage of Scripture or working through the New City Catechism.

What does the righteousness of God mean?

As the last boy ate his last bites, I opened up Romans 3:21 and read the passage:

But now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, although the Law and the Prophets bear witness to it

Romans 3:21

Since kids attention spans are short, we don’t like to make our table talk a seminary class. So my plan was to look at the first part of this verse.

My question to the table was “What does the righteousness of God mean?” A good response back was that it meant God’s holiness. Another response was that is was God’s rightness.

I went with that. God’s righteousness, I tried to explain, was his character of perfect rightness, which is always holy, which is always good. He’s right and he’s always right.

From “But now” to Butt Jokes and Back Again

From there we switched to looking at the phrase “But now”. I asked the table about the “but”. Of course, the boys started making butt jokes. Whose butt? As the conversation turned toward smelly butts (very Luther-like), I reined us in and asked why the “But now” was there.

A boy suggested that something different was happening. And it was happening right now.

I agreed. We then had a discussion about how long is ‘now’. I explained the concept of an unending moment, what theologians would call an eschatological ‘now’ or the grammarians call a gnomic present (mercifully none of which I included in my explanation). A boy waved his hands and said it is now forever and ever. And I said he had got it exactly right.

Connecting the ‘But now’ with ‘the righteousness of God’

At this point, we had to start wrapping things up. We still hadn’t connected the contrast between what had been discussed in chapters 1-3 and what Paul was saying in Ro 3:21. I asked the table about the righteousness earlier in chapter 3. One boy remembered that there is “none righteous, no, not one” (Ro 3:10). I asked how did everyone know what was right and what wasn’t. In a dramatic courtroom judge voice, one boy declared, “The Law!”

At this point, we were nearing the max of our table talk attention span. I left our discussion with that judge-like declaration. Ready to continue the discussion at the next table talk.

If you would like to read more about how our family conducts this table talk, you can check out an interview at The Gospel Coalition Canada.